Madness With You
by Celandrea
Summary: An older Alice debates the wisdom of returning to Wonderland. But when a fortuneteller reveals there is someone waiting for her come back, she must decide whether she is truly ready to face the feelings she's held since her last visit. Two part story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't do exciting enough things in my life to warrant dreaming up something like Alice in Wonderland. Nothing you recognize is mine.

Madness with You

Chapter One

"Come on, Alice. It's just a bit of fun."

Alice rolled her eyes, staring at the gypsy wagon before them. "No matter how much money you spend, Clara, no one will be able to tell you your future."

"Where's your sense of adventure? You used to be so much fun," Clara sighed.

Alice flinched at her words. They had been harmlessly meant but even so they cut far more deeply than Clara could have guessed.

"I still want adventure," Alice argued. "But it's different now. We're not children any longer. We have responsibilities."

"Trade routes and shipping agreements. Honestly, I can't understand what you see in it all."

"Just go get your fortune told and leave my life alone. I'll wait for you here."

With a flip of her gold curls and a roll of her eyes, Clara stalked off towards the wagon. Alice watched her go, wishing she was still the girl she'd once been. A girl who would have believed in fortunetellers, magic and a whole host of impossible things.

Alone, she wandered slowly towards the wagon. Dropping onto the wooden steps, she settled in to wait for Clara.

The night air was chilly but Alice didn't mind. Instead she tilted her head up to the moon. It was nearly full. Soon the night would be bathed in its bright, pale light.

"Adventure," she whispered to the sky. She'd once had more adventure in her life than anyone would ever believe. After all, not ever girl faced the terrifying, beautiful Underland twice and lived to tell the tale.

It had been five years since she'd climbed back out of the rabbit hole. Five long years of focusing on her father's legacy and building his company. At first she'd loved it. A life at sea had been thrilling. She'd seen new places, had new adventures. But lately, even the promise of foreign lands ceased to excite her.

"What am I missing?" she asked the air.

She was glad there was no one to reply, for she feared she already knew the answer.

Leaning her head back against the side of the wagon, Alice tried to chase the disturbing thoughts from her head.

It wasn't long before she heard the creaking wood heralding someone's approach. Alice hopped from the stairs just as Clara burst from the wagon, her face flushed with excitement.

"Oh Alice, it was wonderful," she cried, running down the steps to join her friend.

Alice smiled mildly. "I'm sure."

"That woman is an absolute genius. She told me I'd meet a man who would love me for all eternity. We'd marry and I'd never have to worry about anything ever again."

Alice tried hard not to roll her eyes at Clara's earnest confession. How many other young woman had the fortuneteller tricked with that particular lie?

"You really must see her!"

"Oh no," Alice replied, shaking her head. "I like my money in my pocket, thank you."

"Please, Alice. It's ever so much fun. She knew you were out here. She told me to send you in. Surely you must believe in her now."

"Clara, how many women do you think come out here with friends? It was nothing but an astute guess."

"Please, Alice, please. You won't regret it. You'll see. I so want to know your future too."

Alice looked at Clara's begging eyes and sighed. If she refused no doubt Clara would complain all the way home. Surely a few coins were well worth avoiding such a fate.

"Alright," Alice agreed. "But then we go straight home."

Clara jumped in excitement. "Go on, Alice. She's waiting for you."

Shaking her head at her own foolishness, Alice climbed the steps to the wagon. With a last look at Clara, she pushed through the door and entered the world within.

An elderly woman waited before her. She sat at a round table in the middle of the wagon. Colourful scarves decorated the walls and foreign symbols were painted into the wood. Alice caught the smell of burning incense as she strode forward. At least this woman put on a good show.

"Come closer, child," the woman commanded in a quivering voice.

Dutifully Alice moved closer. The fortuneteller waved to the chair before her and Alice dropped into it.

"So you want to know you're future, do you?"

"I'd rather get this over with as quickly as possible. I'll pay your fee, ma'am, but we can forget the charade. I'm content to wait here a few moments to appease my friend."

The woman leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing. "You don't believe in my gifts," she said.

"Fortune telling is impossible."

The fortuneteller tilted her head, her eyes growing unfocused. "But you used to believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Alice stiffened. "What did you say?"

"Give me your hands, child, and let me show you what you need to know."

Her heart pounded in her chest as she gazed at the woman across from her. What game was this? Had Clara told her to say those words? But she couldn't have. Alice had never told Clara the childish words she'd once used. Slowly, cautiously, Alice reached out her hands.

The fortuneteller gripped them tightly, as if she was afraid Alice would pull them back.

"Let us begin," she said, bowing her head.

Silence descended in the wagon as the old woman rocked slightly from side to side. Alice's own shallow breathes rang loudly in her ears. Perhaps this was a mistake. She could take her hands back and leave this place. It was foolishness to think this woman could truly tell her anything about her future.

But before Alice could convince herself to leave, the old woman lifted her head.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" she asked.

Alice jerked her hands away, pushing to her feet. "What game do you play?" she demanded. "You will stop it at once."

The old woman watched her with shrewd eyes. "Do you remember who asked you that?" she said quietly. "Someone very important to you. Someone who's been waiting for you."

Alice stumbled back. "He's not," she denied. "My life is here now."

"Are you sure?"

Digging into her reticule, Alice tossed a few coins onto the table. "There is your fee. Leave me in peace."

She turned to leave when the fortuneteller stopped her. "You can go back," she called.

Alice froze.

"You can go back to your Wonderland."

Slowly Alice turned.

"But think carefully about your choice. You've gone to a land no one else knows twice before. You are only allowed one more trip. Three times, Miss Alice, is all you have. If you go back, know that leaving again will close that world to you forever. And those living within it."

"How can you know this?" Alice breathed.

The fortuneteller smiled. "There is much in this world we can't understand. Whether you choose to believe in my gifts is up to you but I can see what others can't. And I'm telling you now you have a choice to make."

"My life is here," Alice repeated. "I have responsibilities. I can't just disappear."

"That is for you to decide. But on the night of the full moon, two days hence, the rabbit hole you fell through last time will open once more. Whether you choose to go down it is your decision alone." Calmly the woman collected the scattered coins on her table. "Tell your friend she is welcome to come again."

Alice turned back to the door but when her fingers touched the knob she hesitated. "Is he…really waiting?" she asked, not looking back.

She heard a low chuckle. "You don't believe in my powers," the woman said. "What difference would my answer make?"

Straightening her shoulders, Alice marched out into the night without another word.

"What did she say?" Clara asked eagerly, running up to meet Alice.

"Nothing," Alice said shortly. "Let's go home."

"But she must have—"

"Home, Clara. Now." Alice strode away from the wagon without a backwards glance. She wanted to get as far away from the fortuneteller as possible.

She'd tried to ignore the gypsy woman's words, truly she had, but sitting in her office Alice found herself unable to concentrate on the ledgers before her.

"This is ridiculous," she told herself. "I can't go back. I have a too many things to look after here."

Yes, she had a job which had become more chore than pleasure and the disapproving glances of a family that had never truly understood her. She had everything she needed, but none of it made her feel complete. Nothing made her feel as alive as she'd felt facing off against the Red Queen or battling the Jabberwocky. And no one in her life that made her heart race the way a certain red haired man always had.

"Focus," she whispered. "Focus, focus."

In the hallway she heard the clock chime the hour. It would be dark soon.

No matter how she tried to read the words before her, Alice couldn't concentrate. Her heart raced, her breath came in fast, excited gasps. The very last thing she could do tonight was dull paperwork.

Pushing back from her desk, Alice stood. She paced the length of her office, chewing on a fingernail. In her past she never would have been afraid of an adventure. She'd lived for them, faced them head on. Had she truly changed so much in these last five years?

She spun, staring at the office that had occupied so many hours of her life. This wasn't what she wanted. This life didn't fulfill her anymore. And now she had a chance to change things.

It was time to get her muchness back.

Racing to her desk she grabbed a sheet of parchment and scrawled a hasty note. Sealing the letter, she set it on the open ledger and grabbed her coat.

Alice flew from the office, hitting the streets and looking frantically around for a hack.

"Where to, ma'am?" the driver asked as she raced up to him.

"The Ascot estate. Fast," she replied as she climbed into the carriage.

This was insane, she thought as the hack rumbled onto the street. It was rash and impulsive. Two things she hadn't been in years.

And it felt so good.

The city raced by her window as she tried to calm her nerves. She couldn't really go to Wonderland, could she? Surely she'd come to her senses soon.

But as city turned into countryside, she began to doubt it.

When they neared the estate, Alice rapped on the roof.

"Stop here please," she called.

As soon as the hack slowed she jumped out.

"Don't you want me to take you up to the house, ma'am?"

"No, this is fine. Here you are." She handed over the fare.

"Shall I wait?"

Alice hesitated, looking at the dark landscape before her. Now or never.

"No," she said to the driver, a real smile curving her lips for the first time in years. "I won't be back."

The driver gave her an odd look but shrugged.

As the carriage rumbled away behind her, Alice took a moment to get her bearings. It had been a while since she'd wandered these fields. White flashed out of the corner of her eye and she grinned, grateful for the guide.

Alice started to run, racing after the white rabbit that darted through the night. She hiked up her skirts, pushing herself to move faster. On she ran, through the deserted gardens and up into the forest. It was a trip she'd done before but never with the joy and excitement that warred within her now.

Cresting the hill, she stumbled to a stop. She panted in the still night, her eyes locked on one thing.

"There you are," she whispered.

Before her a large dark tree twisted towards the heavens. There, cradled between its roots, lay the rabbit hole.

Alice approached it slowly. Three times, the fortuneteller had said. This was her last chance. If she messed it up, there was no going back. Was she ready to give up all she'd achieved in this world?

She stood on the edge, looking down into the blackness beneath her feet.

"Hatter," she whispered.

And stepped into the darkness.

A/N: I've written this fic to celebrate my first venture into the strange new world of publishing. If you like my writing, please check out my debut paranormal romance novella "Deals with Demons" by Victoria Davies, out today via Samhain Publishing. To learn more about why one should never make deals with the damned, please visit my website listed on my profile or check Amazon. Thank you for your support!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't do exciting enough things in my life to warrant dreaming up something like Alice in Wonderland. Nothing you recognize is mine.

Madness with You

Chapter Two

Alice closed her eyes and breathed in the night air. Wonderland. She'd done it. She was home.

This time her fall down the endless rabbit hole hadn't been racked with panic. If anything she'd wanted to fall faster. She had places to be after all. At least this time around she'd remembered to move both the key and the upelkuchen cake beside the door before she'd drunk the shrinking potion. She had to admit, pulling her dress through the tiny opening had been a bit tricky but she wanted to be her proper size when she met her friends and that required clothing.

Now she stood in the forest, trying to remember the way. Unlike before there was no one waiting to greet her. She wondered where the white rabbit had gone off to but had more important things to do at the moment than track him down.

Taking a deep breath, she picked a direction and started walking. Here's hoping her feet remembered the way.

As she wandered through the dark forest she grew more and more anxious. What if the fortuneteller had been wrong? What if the Hatter wasn't waiting for her after all? Maybe this world had gone on just fine without her.

"You faced the Jabberwocky," she whispered to herself. "Surely one man isn't as frightening as that."

Except that the Hatter wasn't just any man. He was the only person she'd ever met who saw the world as she did, in all its mad beauty. The only man who had ever encouraged her to be herself and loved her for it anyways.

A smile curved her lips as she picked up her pace. If he didn't want her anymore than she'd just have to convince him how wrong he was. This time, she was done running away.

It wasn't long before the trees around her started to thin.

"Almost there," she murmured, racing forward. Sure enough, the forest parted before her to reveal the Hatter's clearing. The old windmill still stood in the distance, looking as tattered as she'd remembered it. At the heart of the clearing she could see the long table. It was still set for tea, though cups had been broken and pots were overturned.

And there at the head of the table, all alone, sat the Hatter.

His hat was pulled low to cover his eyes. Alice moved cautiously closer. She studied his still form as she walked, noticing the changes in him. His clothing was no longer as threadbare and worn as it'd been on her last visit. The tangled red hair she remembered was longer now, and less ragged. Apparently life free from the Red Queen's rule suited him.

But no guests gathered at his table to share the tea. He looked almost lost among the broken plates, just a lone man trying to survive as the world changed around him.

The sight tore her heart. She quickened her pace, eager to meet him. The Hatter didn't so much as twitch as she approached. Finally she reached the table and stopped before it.

Slowly the Hatter lifted his head. Mismatched green eyes met hers and she caught her breath. Here he was. So very close and yet, just this once, Alice felt hesitant. Monsters she could fight. Queens she could battle. But this one man left her unsure.

"Alice," he breathed.

"Hello, Hatter," she replied, trying to smile for him.

Only a broken table separated them but it was a barrier Alice didn't know how to cross. Instead she waited, needing to know if he would welcome her.

"I must be mad," he murmured, closing his eyes.

"Undoubtedly," she agreed. "But I'm still here."

A slight smile curved his lips. "It is a nice dream. I do hope I don't wake up too soon."

Alice took a hesitant step forwards. "Now it is you trying to convince me this is all a dream?"

The Hatter grinned, leaning his head back against the chair. "You are far away from here, my Alice."

Her heart leapt at the endearment, giving her the courage to take another step. "But I'm not," she assured him. "I came back."

"Why would you do that?" he asked, sounding only mildly curious.

"Because, Hatter, you are here."

The Hatter studied her with his eerie green eyes before laughing softly. "Sometimes it is a gift to be mad."

Alice crept closer, careful to step over the broken crockery that littered the ground.

"I thought you'd be at the White Queen's court," she told him.

"Oh I was," he replied, tilting his head back to stare up at the bright moon. "But I've found I do much better here." He laughed again. "That court reminded me of you."

She swallowed hard. Guilt filled her. It was her fault he was like this. She was the one who had left him behind.

"I'm sorry, Hatter," she whispered.

"Fairfarren, Alice," he replied, closing his eyes once more.

Shaking her head, she stumbled the last few steps to his side. "No, Hatter," she told him. "I'm never leaving again."

Reaching out she cupped his face between her palms as she'd once down so many years before. "I'm here," she assured him. "I'm real. Please, see me."

The Hatter blinked. Slowly he lifted his hands to touch hers. She smiled encouragingly as his fingertips trailed over her flesh.

"See?" she asked. "You can feel me. I'm not a dream."

"Impossible."

"We believe impossible things all the time, you and I," she replied.

His eyes widened as his hands gripped hers firmly. He drew away from her touch, staring in amazement at her hands.

"I'm here," she told him again.

Stunned eyes met her own. "No dream," he asked in a whisper.

Wordlessly she shook her head.

The Hatter dropped her hands, pushing himself backwards out of the chair.

"Hatter?" she asked in question as he stood silently in the moonlight.

"Why are you here?"

"I told you," she said, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort. "I came back for you."

"It's been…years, hasn't it? Years."

She nodded. "I know. But I'm back now."

"So you say."

"No, this time I mean it."

"You have a life in the above world," the Hatter replied with a sad shake of his head. "You always leave."

Alice stepped around his chair, moving to stand before him. "Do you want me to go?"

A smile twisted his lips. "Never," he replied.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Because of all the lands I've seen, of all the people I've met, I know now that there is only one place I can call home."

"Where?"

"Here," she replied. "With you."

He chuckled at her words. "What madness."

"Yes," she agreed, stepping closer. "Utter madness."

"Why would you want to stay here with me?" he asked her.

Alice took a steadying breath. "Do you really not know?"

"I know many things," he replied. "Half of them are even true."

She smiled at his words. "Alright, I will tell you what I know."

The Hatter watched her closely, his strange eyes missing nothing as Alice took a step closer and placed her hands on his arms.

"I know," she whispered, "that you like my nonsense."

"I insist upon it," he agreed.

"And I know you give me courage. I couldn't have fought the Jabberwocky without you by my side."

"Oh, Alice," he murmured, shaking his head. "Of course you could have."

"No, Hatter, you believed in me before I even did. I needed that. I needed you."

He said nothing, merely watched her in silence.

"I know tea tastes best when I drink it with you," she said, sliding her hands up to his shoulders. "And I know the world doesn't seem so small when your hand is in mine. You make me believe in impossible things, Hatter, and see possibilities I never knew existed. In the world above, I can't do that. I lose my muchness. That's not the way I want to live my life."

He reached out to her hesitantly, his fingers brushing her waist. "I've missed you, Alice," he told her. "Every moment I've missed you."

She closed her eyes in pain. "Forgive me," she whispered. "I should never have left."

The Hatter pulled her closer. "You came back," he breathed. "You came back to me."

"Always."

Her breath hitched as she looked up into his strange face. Never before had they stood this close. All it would take is a tiny step on tip toe and she could brush her lips over his. Would he welcome such a touch? she wondered.

"You will truly stay?" he asked her.

"I promise. In all the time I was away, you were the only man I ever dreamed of. My heart lies here, in Underland. I won't make the mistake of leaving again."

The Hatter tilted her chin up with a gentle finger. His mouth drifted closer to hers, their breaths mingling in the cool night air. Both hesitated, almost afraid to change their relationship from friends to lovers. But he was the reason she had come here. He'd been the one she'd longed for. And she hadn't given up her former life just to lose her courage now. Gripping his coat, she pulled him down to her, sealing their lips.

He wrapped his arms around her automatically. Alice had no complaints. She wanted to be as close to him as she could get. Titling her head, she drew her mouth lightly over his, exploring the new sensations.

It was a light kiss, one of new lovers, but Alice didn't mind. After the years of waiting and dreaming, it felt perfect to her.

"My Alice," the Hatter whispered against her lips.

"My Hatter," she replied.

He cupped her face in his hands, running a finger over her cheek. "You must be half mad," he murmured.

"Probably," she agreed. Smiling up at him, she asked, "Won't you be mad with me?"

"Och, aye." The Hatter grinned widely. "Madness with you is better than clarity with anyone else."

"Then kiss me again, Tarrant," she urged. "And we can forget about the rest of the world for a little while."

As he bent to kiss her, Alice couldn't help smiling. She'd finally found her Wonderland. And this time, she wouldn't ever let go.

The End

A/N: I've written this fic to celebrate my first venture into the strange new world of publishing. If you like my writing, please check out my debut paranormal romance novella "Deals with Demons" by Victoria Davies, out today via Samhain Publishing. To learn more about why one should never make deals with the damned, please visit my website listed on my profile or check Amazon. Thank you for your support!


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